Monday Musings

This weekend i hanged out with this friend, let’s call him S.

We always have great conversation and we are relaxed around each other. Which means we insult each other (rarely) when it is called for and compliment each other (more rarely) but we are cool peeps. I was supposed to hang out with him last weekend but i didn’t, and i got a thorough insult and guilt laden session from him soooo…i intended to do better because he would never let me forget it.

This past weekend we hang out together plus some of his friends. Great conversation and lots of laughs together, i’m glad i made the choice to go despite a sore throat and a cold threatening to blow up. Antibiotics to the rescue.

As we hanged out i noticed something, he was touching me in little ways, like putting his arm on my knee, touching me to get his attention. As we stood by the lift, his hand lightly touching my ass. I moved away, small but discernible move. But i liked it that he wanted to touch me.

To be honest, i touched him too,a bit. And we were mirroring each others body language like we would face each other and put both our arms on the neck of the chair.

When we get to the house, i am thinking that this guy will pull a move on me and i really don’t want that. So i make a move to go to the next room, but he insists and says “He will not go where he is not wanted.”

Short story: He didn’t make a move.

I had a good time. We always have a good time together.

Something different this time around though: This morning when i was laughing to myself about some stories we were talking about, i realised that i felt sexy. Sexy in the way that no man said it or implied it, but in a way that he showed he likes my brand of sass.

It’s something about the way he was touching me and talking to me. Our heads touching. Laughing together.

It feels good to hang out with a guy and not feel this strong sexual vibe emenating from him and that makes you on edge as you look for the quickest exit.

Feels really good.

Maybe he is playing his cards slow or maybe he is not into me like that.

Either way,fun comes when you open yourself to it.

I am at peace with the way things are. Once upon a long time ago, something like this would either have me overthinking things or not thinking about it at all. Maturity is such a good thing. You know just how much energy to give something.

I don’t want to be rushed into making waves by thoughts of “What will he think if..?” “Does he expect…?”

This time around, i am letting my gut rule but i am taking my mind along with me.

Here’s to part two of a great friendship Mr S. <raises glass>

s

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