Hmmm…I like that title…i think i will make it a regular..
It’s been a tough few days. I’ve been busy wrapping up work stuff and that has been tiring. There’s been lots of cake to eat, more than i have had in any one month this year. The next few runs are going to hurt, a lot.
Yesterday, Saturday, was particularly difficult.
I had nowhere to be till the afternoon and i felt like the world was hanging from my limbs.
I knew i should get up and lace up, but i didn’t. I couldn’t. Not even toss and turn.
I knew what was happening. It was the depression all over again. Finally i got up and showered and dressed but it felt like i was in slow motion. Like my brain was struggling to reboot itself.
I was supposed to go for a baby shower but i sent my apologies and instead went to a meeting. Sometimes it feels like the love and attention from family is suffocating and that i don’t quite fit. That i am hiding my situation from them (which to be fair i am) ..sigh…
So i got out and went for my meeting and had a drink afterwards. It felt good.
Today i got up and it felt like a good day. I thanked God..and i continue to do so.
So here i am, i seem to be back, not too high and not too low and it feels good. Taking it a breath at a time. Faking it until it becomes the truth. In this moment i am loving myself in little ways; admiring my body in the mirror, my hair, nails and positive self talk.
Do the same. And see what happens.