Month: March 2016

Letter to a younger me

That which you really want, you might get it, or you might not. Either way it is not the end of the world.

Some situations happen so as to teach you a lesson about how to deal with people or something about yourself.

Men are men. Use your guts to sift through them.

Women are something else altogether. Be fluid/flexible when you deal with them.

Money: Save save save. Always pay yourself first. A particular percentage a month. That money comes in handy when you have lost your job suddenly or there is an emergency. Or on your birthday 🙂

Love your body. It’s the only one you got. You can change it through exercise or lots of food. Either way, love it as it is.

The one who makes the butterflies all jumpy is the one you should take time to learn and observe. The one who is quiet and observant, that is the one you should sit with and talk about anything and everything. Let him lead the conversation, you will learn a lot about him through his choice of words and opinion. Those mind f*cks are the ones that will carry your friendship through the years and will broaden your mind in amazing ways. If you don’t agree, that’s ok.

You can always walk away.

You will not agree with everyone, and that is just the way of the world.

Don’t let anyone dismiss you, your thoughts or feelings.

Keep your mouth shut about a lot of things. Learn who to tell your thoughts to.
Faith in a higher power. Pray to Allah/God or Jah or the Universe. Everybody’s believes in something. The ancestors. Ancient Egyptians. Trust in it. It is powerful.

What seems big now, will be laughable in a week, a month or a year. It really is never that serious. Until it is.

Forgive your enemies, but don’t forget them said Tony Soprano. I agree.

Remember they who were good to you or helped you out. Always keep an eye out for them to help them or theirs back.

Self Trust

Last week despite being crazy busy, i found myself in an unguarded moment talking to Me S saying how ridiculous it was that he was gone and being silent. A few minutes later, I knew that everything would be fine and that he’d get in touch and what he’d ask about specifically. And he did.

I had another moment where I knew that I was happy and at peace with my life. It was crazy but I knew that everything would work out.

Our souls know the answers.
We have to trust in ourselves.
Just trust and breath and relax.


I cannot create and not live. I cannot
be in this vacuum of creativity without
We’re all trying to get to this next
level without the next level finding us.
Life is peaks and valleys and some
people explain it as good times and
bad times but I actually think it’s
learning and mastership or study and
I went from the top of one mountain,
(and) I’ve mastered something and
people appreciated it. Once you’ve
been on top on that mountain, you
have to go down, but people are like,
‘I’m not moving….I’m the master, I’m
great, I’m dope, I’m here, I’ve arrived,
I’m not going anywhere!
That’s when you stay stuck…
On one hill, one mountain.
God’s intention is that we study and
master a bunch of things. So here i
am descending this hill and everybody
is like “where are you going, we’re
supposed to be on top of the hill?”
But it’s definitely an exciting time for
me because I’m at the foot of another
hill. This hill is totally different and
navigated differently, but i get to
learn. Once you learn and you go
through that, you’re on the top of
another one.
I would encourage everyone to never
be afraid of not knowing…find out
because that’s how you get to
Let’s not be mediocre in our
Think big, and think in doses, and
think in experiences and don’t be
afraid of experiences that teach you.

Lauryn Hill

You knew

You knew. You knew you were going to be gone.
That’s why you asked me to learn that stuff.
I knew too. I’ve known since December that it was going to happen.
But dammit you should have/could have ..what’s the point trying to  change the past? Just a waste of time.
All I can do is do what you asked of me.

I try not to get upset/mad but it’s hard and then the next question is: how changed will you be?

I think I can feel your energy. The unknown of what’s  next. Tension. Fear. Behind them is strength.
As you look in the mirror, face them, own them.
Feel the changes and be strong.
You got this.

Elastic heart.

Time Out.

Mr. S, he doesn’t know this but he has opened my eyes. Challenged me, since last year, to look critically at my world, my life, my country.
To take a deep breath and really listen to what he is always talking about. See if there is any merit to his claims about the state of the nation.
It’s been a..change.
More aware if what is. I take conversation, statements made with a pinch of salt. I also look at the world with more caution.

So as I sit here and try not to drown too much in this quagmire of lies and madness I look to him, for him who set me on this path to talk opinions out and see how off base i am, or not, and he is..gone.
Just gone. Silent.
The man who gives me a mind fuck every time we hang out is unreachable. Radio silent. SH*T!!

..le sigh..
I know where and why he is where he is. A sabbatical. A time out from the world. I understand, we all need a break from the world  from time to time, but damn!

When you get back I hope I’ll have done you proud.

Self Love Sunday

I did my second half marathon today.
After intermittent training, my only goal was to best my previous time by a half hour.
This was a different route thankfully and I believed in myself.
I talked a friend into doing the half and she did it really well and beat me like I knew she would 🙂

A cloudy day (my favourite) and I got on with it. At the start line I realised that I had been looking at the map all wrong, but what could I do but get going? I got to the 10k mark sooner than I thought and I was pleasantly surprised. It’s amazing what you can do when you set your mind to it or when you least expect it.

I made a new PR of 3:15 and beat my previous time by 32minutes. Yay me!!
I know my darkness has been silenced for a while and anyway I’m too exhausted to listen to them.

Surprise yourself this week.